![]() ![]() All the accomplishments that have passed, the laughs you’ve had, the love you’ve found, the heartbreak you’ve felt, the places and things you’ve seen and done. If I had to say one thing from one young suicide loss survivor to another, I would tell them the following: that there will come a day that you will stop and realize just how far you’ve come. Connect with your local AFSP chapter to help get connected to people in your community. But you don’t have to wait for once a year. Once a year for International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, hundreds of Survivor Day events take place across the country. That’s another thing that can help those grieving a suicide loss: connecting with others who have gone through what you have. It wasn’t until I was asked to take part in the AFSP documentary The Journey that I found true comfort by finding myself in the company of others who have lost someone as well. I’ve tried just about everything along the way trying to figure it out. My own grieving process has been a long and winding road. When push comes to shove, you have the power to get through this, and there are support groups, therapists, activities and hobbies that can help you heal, as well as wonderful organizations like AFSP that can help facilitate the healing process by providing information that can inform your understanding of what has happened. Don’t ever think you are alone, whether you’re someone who’s suffered a loss, or the person helping them get through the grief. So many people have gotten through this, and so will you. ![]() There are countless people this has happened to, and there is a wealth of information and support available. Just get through it, because that’s what you have to do. ![]() Get through the next breath, get through the next meal, and then get through the next day. Take it one day, one question, one step, and even one second at a time. Do what you can to help guide them along, or just sit next to them through the storm, one day at a time. There will be days and weeks, maybe even months, where they feel completely alone and lost. But there will be people to help figure it out, one question at a time. “Where’s daddy?” and “How do I move on from here?” These questions are not easy. That’s the only option: one step at a time. The answer is, you will figure out a way to get through it. Don’t kick yourself for not knowing what to do, and don’t let them kick themselves for anything, either. That’s something I realize, now, is true: that even in the darkest of times, no one is ever alone, whether they realize it or not. There is no exact, specific answer.īut what you should do is reassure them that they’re not alone. There is no one easy “key” that unlocks the secret. What should someone tell a child who has just lost a loved one to suicide? What can a kid do to cope with this loss? What can be said? He needed to go away to get help, and that’s the reason he won’t be coming back.” People tell you things like, “Your father had a mental health condition. It’s an inconsistency that sits in your chest like a lump a pill you can’t swallow no matter how hard you try to push it down. Everything is suddenly alien and foreign and strange. It’s like the whole world has shifted 10 degrees, and no one else seems to notice but you. You try to meld the feeling that nothing will ever be the same again, while realizing that everything is still the same way it was seconds, moments, days, and weeks before you were told – but with one obvious change. It’s like everything you knew, planned, imagined, and depended upon has unalterably changed forever but then you look around and the world somehow keeps spinning like nothing has changed at all. In a way, losing someone when you’re a kid really isn’t that much different than being an adolescent or adult, I imagine: the whole world as you knew it has ended. My answer to all of these, is basically just: I don’t know. ![]() When people find out this part of my history, they ask me things like: How did it feel to be a kid and lose your parent in this way? What was it like? How much did you realize was going on? How perceptive were you at that age? How much were you told about what happened? How much do you think you should have been told? I lost my father to suicide just one month after my tenth birthday.Įven now, as a 26-year old, I can still barely comprehend quite how young I was to have to experience and process such a loss. International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, also known as Survivor Day, takes place each year on the Saturday before American Thanksgiving, with virtual and in-person events in communities everywhere. ![]()
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